-The artist formerly known as Frank.

Last night, all weekend but particularly last night I had an amazing conversation with tiffany. The love in our reltionship and more specifically the trust part of it is growing significantly. After months of fear I have been able to honestly express my desire to start a family without "hedging" it. And understand its ok to be nervous but that I want more love in my life and this will be a further expression of tiff and my love converging to one.

At our rehearsal dinner before the wedding I gave a speech about love being a number between 1 and 2 and that as our love grows it approaches 1. And then the marriage ceremony talks about 2 becoming 1. Emotionally I feel like I want to be her. And me. That I can't be close enough. Having a child together unites us in one. And for me that's beautiful. Its life. Its creation. Its art. So its part of my "art"

Then I think about intellect. And math and science and science vs faith. Faith is part of love. In math 1+1=2. That's logic. In love I've found 1+1=1 and now with adding a child its 1+1+1=1. But the power of love expands. Multplies. But again 1x1=1. 1^3=1. You cannot describe it with logic or intellectual knowledge. You can only know it. Through experience and faith to have that experience. And its available at each moment. Renewable at each moment. Livable at each moment. And the absence of it at each moment is the death of the moment. So every moment allows us to live love. And every moment allows us to live again if we've died a moment.

And then I think this must be the concept that binds cultures and religions. And I understand it and have started to experience it.

The peak-in list is the attempt to record these moments without overdoing the intellectualism of it. Its just pure art reflecting the journey of my soul without getting bogged down in the details of the not too distant past. Its as quick a snapshot of a moment as is necessary to express life.

Hectic cnfused lectomica music. )No I don't remener that not I don remember that Noah dun remember thy boat.

Throw in glanmcrw images stills of the nedaripus piker panting. The de panting he don't want. Throw in images of Pkins. Crazy distracted. Fun. Noah dun want fun Noh remember thy boat

Tv knots the agony. The misery. Tv whtth fcis find on. Why isbhappwjon p e the meyer pops up so fast I can't keep upwith it you DNS yourself hong ok ancon in a a TNT you can expin ad ypurrsporq f puts xpirl Shia ppppmg ipzbypu mvmet thy. CEOs of have any meaning whats p eve. Why a. Still living in this body for?

Close my eyes ad pray thy terror when I open THM goes away. And if dont. God send me Noah tv boat.

Either way and whatever. I'm tired of being negative. It just isnt' any fun. Why be negative when you can be positive? I think that's the most simple question when it comes down to anything. I've proven for myself that in a dire bad situation, my dad having alzheimer's, that it's possible to find enjoyment out of it. Possible to find positivity out of it. And it feels almost a little "wrong" but it's almost like, so what, another one bites the dust, let me just remember the fantastic moments we had together AND MORE IMPORTANTLY let me forge new moments with others to share. Because at the end of the day, the newborns don't have any experience with the diers. Maybe that's why they're happy. And without knowing the dying, we're able to love our lives. Unless we're able to love the dying until they're gone. To the moment and then past that moment. Love them once. Love them always. Love them in death. But that definitely, certainly, importantly and not questionably means DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME MOURNING THEM! In life or in death. They are "beings". And beings are subject to things we don't fully understand including death. So let them die. Whenever it is they die. They are dead. And dead is not life. So let them die and do not hold yourself accountable for any of it. It's not your fault. There's nothing you could have done. They are dead and they were going to die, no matter what. So fuck it. And live. Live what you got. Because you don't know how long it is until you're the poor mother fucker who's dying. And who knows? Maybe once you're dead, it's great. But honestly, could it really be any worse than you can imagine? Worst case is you've drunk yourself into oblivion and you just can't remember a thing. I'm sure it's the same way with death. And you know what? You'll nerver know. So live.

I got drunk. Not too bad. Not too obnoxiously. But drunk enough. Enough to realize today, as I sip on my 8.5% alcohol Belgian, that it's all about choice. All about decisions. All about empowering ourselves to make the decisions we make and live by them and live in them and be them. It's easy to get proverbially lost thinking about decision-making. Fantasizing about free-will or manifest destiny. But it's another thing entirely to live the moment optimizing the moment for the moment. It's another thing to worry about future moments. But if you handle the current moment as optimally as possible then the next moment should fall into place. And that shit cascades like the Niagra my naturalized friends. It's just like sipping out of a sippy cup. Without a lid. And it falls all over your balls and pants. Who cares? So you're wet. You're wet.

Nahsayin?

Whereas others seek to build capital for materialistic purposes, I seek to build capital to metaphorically burn while I create. The value of my creation is intangible. This is not to say that I cannot sell it to someone, however I would never buy my own work. If I sell it, then I've sold it at the top. My art is and will be a seller's market. For I have no reason to sell it. The intrinsic value is such that to me it is the greatest non-breathing thing on this planet. The only reason I would sell it would be to acquire more capital with which to create something that impresses and affects me more. If nothing were to impress and affect me more than a piece of my art, then there shall be no reason to sell it as it's the greatest creation I could effect. For me. It's personal luxury. It's understanding the soul and desires so intrinsically that I am the only one who can create to entertain it. But that's the furthest luxury can go. Luxury cannot purchase or even create love. It can approach a limit called lust. But it cannot reach love. Love is so conceptually easy that it's practically difficult. And therein lies its dilemma. To advance oneself to attain conceptuality, one often overlooks the practicality that is "tedious" and hence seems time-consuming, or wasteful. But it's not. The sharing of time passage with someone you love brings such great fulfillment that the portrayal of such I find difficult except to actually show it. Because we don't see it often enough to realize it. To understand what it is. So it's hours and hours of "nothing" but utter enjoyment and connection. And listening and providing and caring and comfort. There's something uncomfortable about living alone, even if we confuse ourselves enough to think otherwise. But there's nothing more comfortable than living together (as one), despite whatever rationalizations to the contrary.

A Pkin Is Pretty.
Or Not.
Or Good Or Bad.
Or Interesting Or
Boring. Or Indiscernably
Existing.

A Pkin Is A
Pkin.
It
Be's.

(It's Intrinsically
Valid)

The First Day of the month.)

The name in First Position
Refers to the Spiritual.
The Creative Force.

The name in Second Position
Refers to the Conquest. The
Acquisition. The Courage. The
Bravery.

It is the calling by the First Name,
Which disapproves of the innate
Arrogance of the Second. With
Wisdom the First has restricted the
Power from the Second. A Veil of
Uncertainty and Fear are enough to
Render any Leader
Impotent and Actionless.

But rather than Fear John any longer,
The Personal meaning which is -
My Father,
I Embrace it.

I love my wife,
She is my friend.
I want her now
And til the end.

I love my dad.
He is the best.
His memory's gone,
He needs his rest.

I learn to live
The now to now
Twas real hard
But now it's not.

The days go by
Don't let them pass.
Each moment lives;
Live each moment.