pkin-j

Hey. We can definitely talk more spiritual awakening. Its an important part of the story. The pkin list is part of that. As soon as we got off the phone I created the first pkin list pkin. It may change to " peak-in" list as I feel the phonetic spelling is becoming more significant than a "cute" abbreviation. The rule I applied is to list the names of people I shared a moment(s) of love with that day. You made the inagural list, so thank you! So far I've done 3 since Friday. And I still want to do yesterday and Monday. The great thing is that there is no rule to complete a list by day-end. That was a borrowed concept anyway (from on kawara) because all I have to do is remember the moment and its honest. So if its a strong enough moment there should be a few days at least to note it. I really like the direction of the pkins now. Its an honest and significant developmnet in my life and represented thru an art medium that interests me. I think if I can commit to peak-ining each day the project as a whole will grow and will begin to develop important depth and layers important to the intrinsic value of the art. And the basis is very spiritual for me. Love my neighbors. Love myself. And I realized that on the first day I didn't include myself on the list. And the 2 after that I haven't been able to even after realizing I'm missing from it. So I suppose that's an important growth opportunity. Making my list.

Last night, all weekend but particularly last night I had an amazing conversation with tiffany. The love in our reltionship and more specifically the trust part of it is growing significantly. After months of fear I have been able to honestly express my desire to start a family without "hedging" it. And understand its ok to be nervous but that I want more love in my life and this will be a further expression of tiff and my love converging to one.

At our rehearsal dinner before the wedding I gave a speech about love being a number between 1 and 2 and that as our love grows it approaches 1. And then the marriage ceremony talks about 2 becoming 1. Emotionally I feel like I want to be her. And me. That I can't be close enough. Having a child together unites us in one. And for me that's beautiful. Its life. Its creation. Its art. So its part of my "art"

Then I think about intellect. And math and science and science vs faith. Faith is part of love. In math 1+1=2. That's logic. In love I've found 1+1=1 and now with adding a child its 1+1+1=1. But the power of love expands. Multplies. But again 1x1=1. 1^3=1. You cannot describe it with logic or intellectual knowledge. You can only know it. Through experience and faith to have that experience. And its available at each moment. Renewable at each moment. Livable at each moment. And the absence of it at each moment is the death of the moment. So every moment allows us to live love. And every moment allows us to live again if we've died a moment.

And then I think this must be the concept that binds cultures and religions. And I understand it and have started to experience it.

The peak-in list is the attempt to record these moments without overdoing the intellectualism of it. Its just pure art reflecting the journey of my soul without getting bogged down in the details of the not too distant past. Its as quick a snapshot of a moment as is necessary to express life.