The Peakin

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name Mother of Exiles.
From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!"” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

-"The New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus

What did Pop-Pop feel as his ship cruised across the Atlantic Ocean? What trials, tribulations, hopes and dreams set him in pursuit of the "American Dream" in 1922? What ups and downs did he experience along the way? The weeks of sea travel and countless risks, starvation and disease. The poverty, fear and hope that accompanied him on his way? The excitement of drawing near Ms Liberty's victorious posture? The memories of war-ravaged countryside and family killed in gunfire.

Why did Pop-Pop move to America? What was his dream? Sadly, I do not know. Certainly not firsthand. My only memories of Pop-Pop were of his final years struck by Alzheimer's. When I was upset that he pissed on my GI Joe figures and scared of the crazy man who thought the door to Greece was behind the piano in our living room.

Pop-Pop worked in the restaurant industry. I'm sure that's not very surprising considering his Greek heritage and the Greek immigrants' hold on the regional restaurant business. He collected the discarded grease and fat from the kitchens and sold it to companies needing it as ingredients for whatever they were making.

My Dad was born in 1936. Clearly times were hard, particularly for a 1st and 2nd generation immigrant family. My father's family lived in poverty, like most of the New American population of the time. There were 12 (?) of them living in the 900 square foot 2 bedroom apartment in Union City, NJ.

What was it like for my father to grow up in poverty? I don't know. He never told me. I've heard stories from my uncle and great-aunt (who is only 3 years his elder) that he was ashamed of their poverty. That he was determined to become something. To make a name for himself. To carry the American Dream baton that Pop-Pop carried from Greece to NJ. Maybe he thought about setting the plate for his own offspring so that they could get advanced education and break the ranks of American capitalism.

But to tackle the breaking of ranks for his children, as that's the here and now, first we must frame history from a factual perspective. Provide the highlights and events of his life, so that we can contrast the Alzheimer's reality at present.

My Dad could run. He could run like the dickens. He was the star running back in high school. His grades were mediocre and certainly his reputation fell squarely on his ability to run all over the opposing squad's team. Johnny the Bullet they called in the local newspapers. Johnny embarrassed every NJ football team that came his way. He had ambitions of playing for Dartmouth in the Ivy League, but his grades weren't up to snuff for Ivy League admissions. His family could not afford to put him through college, so he worked in the construction business for a couple years after high school. And he did all types of things, poured concrete, put up sheetrock, laid roofing. Until he got a call from a former coach, telling him there was a spot for him on the Susquehanna University football team. My Dad jumped at the opportunity and over the next four years would evolve into JY: The Living Legend.

Dad set numerous Susquehanna rushing records, including rushing for [7] TDs in a single game in the [70-0] blowout against [school]. John was big man on campus. He was the social chair of Lamda Chi fraternity and all star running back. His success on the field was second only to his social reputation, especially after having gotten a Dean drunk at one of the Lamda Chi parties.

Dad met Mom at Susquehanna. Mom was the polar opposite of Dad. She was not a party animal and was turned off by the obnoxious John Y. Ann's friends convinced her to go out with him. She did. Opposites attract, I guess. They got married in 1961. [Build out college stories.... would be great to give a late 50s/early 60s feel to it as his hey day preceeded the 60s cultural revolution]

1961-1969:
I don't know much about this era. Dad worked in various construction industry jobs. Not sure if he was at USG yet.

My sister was born in July 1969. After they hit up the moon. The changing of ages before your eyes.

My mom and sister bailed dad out of jail for some kind of drinking incident. Not sure whether or not it was driving while inebriated or some other junkette.

Monroe. California. Monroe.

High Ridge Road. California. Pine Tree Rd.

Rich is born.

Halleluja.

Except that he fucks himself up. Or so that's what he thought.

The thought he had before he thought what he thought next:

It's my "Titanic Mistake". But wazzat??

The longer I let Titanic Mistake mature, the more it becomes

Open Space

Wow, an Alzheimer's Moment.
Please spare me
As I get on board.

June 1, 1978: My birth

1980ish: Joins Strober Brothers as a partner.

81-82: Takes stock public. Incidentally, when I talked about investment banking he never mentioned anything about this. I tend to assume this is because he didn't realize the connection.

1983: Rich goes to Congers with Dad. Eats first bacon and egg sandwich, which he can still taste.
1984: Father dies, had a battle with Alzheimer's
1985: Opens Vails Gate location. Rich works as stockboy some Saturdays.
1987: Rick Strober either falls out or is assisted out a midtown skyscraper. And if that weren't enough, the Stock Market Crash in October.
1988: Acquires Red Corvette Convertible. Rich loves the color blue.
1990: Stuff
1996: Rich graduates, goes to college.
Late 90s: Dad & board sell Strober Brothers to Fidelity. Gets a 3 year consulting agreement. Retires.
2000: Rich graduates
2000-2003: Dad does and says stupid things. We the family poke fun at most of it. What's his name? No who's on third base? Who's Curtis?
Early 00s: Dad gets evaluation that assumes he has Alzheimer's.
He's pleasant. People like him. He declines.
Fall 2006: Rich realizes he never had an emotional relationship with Dad. Promises to spend a year helping him, getting to know him, and forge a relationship "when all is lost".
2007: Rich spends time with Dad. Lives a lot of moments together. Loves it.
2008: Dad's in a home. Watched "Away From Her" and thought the storytelling was amateurish at best. That's not at all what it's like to have Alzheimer's.

(Thisiswhatitslike.com -> Launchpad for the Living and Loving Project?)

Check.