The Peakin

So yeah. I wanted to be like my dad ever since I was a little kid. I would shave like him, sleep on the couch like him. Open beer cans like him. Watch the Yankee game like him. Blame the dog for farting, like him. Sometimes Gwenny, just because that was funny.

I went to work like him. I ate bacon and egg sandwiches like him. I drank orange juice like him. I used pepper like him. I used so much pepper like him it turned into what I do. Use a shitload of pepper.

I played sports like him. I ran fast like him. I impressed the coaches like him. I made the varsity team like him. I had waivy hair like him.

I liked Corvettes like him.

I got a paper route like him. I earned my own way like him, even though he helped me out.

I made something of myself early in life like him, but I did it earlier. He had me later. My father has Alzheimer's like his. I have to take care of him like him. I am faced with this question. Do I take care of dad or do I pursue my career? He chose pursue his career. What will I do? Have I already decided by being the son of him? What would he choose? What would he want me to choose? What should I do?

There are no correct answers. This is the realm of judgment. School cannot teach you how to answer these questions. Only experience and values can. And you are the judge of your own value system. Even if you believe in God. Because if you believe in God, then you believe that God is in all of us. God is one. So therefore, your choice is a God-driven choice. Provided you believe in God. And if you don't believe in God, then your choice is a self-fulfilling choice driven by a value system that drives you to choose for one reason or another. And you choose. Based on that system. In my opinion, that system is God's system whether you like to choose to believe in it or not. But that's for another time.

So. I'm in this million dollar career. I feel sorry for myself for being rich. And maybe for being Rich, considering I tried changing my name de facto.

Money does not have to buy happiness. Money can buy security. And security can lead to living risk-aversely. To make the best of your moments. This is not to say you can't achieve this objective in another manner. My point is that I may not be able to. At least not now. I've grown up 29 years with this mantra, it's a very tough thing to change entirely however I want to believe in it. But. I can steer the craft in the direction I want to head utilizing the whats and hows I have now. And the whats and hows I have now are money-makers. I'm compelled to take more risk. A natural course with lower operational risk (given experience) is to start my own hedge fund. It could get me to the end-game wealth-wise 5-10 years quicker. And if it doesn't. So what. I don't need it anyway, I just need the resolution of it all. If it doesn't work, I'll live sufficiently and enjoy the people I'm surrounded by.

But. I'll be successful. Because you know what? I always am. I got that from my dad. If it's not directly from the experience of starting a business, then it will be the experience of starting something that I should be ready for. If it doesn't work out, it's because the boredom of it all has reached a breaking point for me, which will be the signal to move on to Living and Loving Alzheimer's. Either way, the success or failure of starting a hedge fund will bear fruit to Living and Loving Alzheimer's. This is the story of what happens after my dad has Alzheimer's.

I'll have a kid. Kids. I'll start this fund. It will work or it won't. I'll start Living and Loving Alzheimer's. Depending on whether the hedge fund works, I'll need external investors or I'll finance it myself. So the motivation to be successful on the hedge fund thing is that the more successful I am financially the more equity I can keep in the L&L business, maximizing the equity of the wealth creation event of my lifetime.