The Peakin

I was thinking about Tiff and I having a baby. It came up in the context of thinking about how to add contrast to the Living and Loving movie about my experience with my dad and his Alzheimer's. I thought it would be great contrast to have footage of Tiffany and me expanding our family unit of Love. And I thought the strength would be greatest if we begin getting footage now on our thoughts about having a baby. Documenting the hopes, anxieties, feelings, and other emotions and thoughts about the exciting prospect of bringing a baby to our life.

This made me think then that maybe the conception of life isn't when the sperm meets the egg and rather it's the concept of "we want a baby" that has actually brought this baby to life. We have opened ourselves to the possibility of a baby enterring our union. And that is the birth of the baby in some way for me. I have already begun having feelings for and about this baby so it exists. The possibility of it exists and the hope for it exists, so its physical existence is a matter of time and action. (I find it difficult to refrain from acknowledging the unintended pun of "action".)

Without ruminating on the legal definition of the start of life or really positing a view on abortion, I must acknowledge that as of this moment, FOR ME, I believe the life of this baby has already begun by openly accepting its eventual existence, which relies heavily if not entirely on our hope and faith in the health in all three of us.

Posted by F.Newara at 05:08 PM | Permalink

The events and experiences of the past two years have fundamentally shifted my paradigm. While I do believe that each moment and my experience of it impact the next and future experiences of moments (alas the "River of Life" analogies), my experience of the moments of the past couple years has led to accelerated personal growth. I have reflected on this growth and am aware of it on many subdivisable aspects of my being. My internal eye sees the growth the greatest on an emotional and spiritual basis. The growth on those two subdivisions of my self have spurred growth on other aspects such as occupational and intellectual.

The key paradigm shift that I have come to know by experience, that has transcended intellectual understanding, is a life-framework based on love. The entries I will post on The Peakin are conceptually based on my personal understanding of my life lived in love as opposed to one lived in fear, which I understand as the opposite of love. For me, and admittedly this concept is still in its infancy from a personal, experiential perspective, hate is not the opposite of the love I speak of. Perhaps I should call the "love" I refer to as "Love". Or perhaps it's "Faith". I'm not really sure to be honest on the symantics. And that's ok for the scope of this blog because the intention of this blog is to allow me to express love and explore the expression so that when this blog has served its purpose, it shares a valid expression of what a life of love means to me on a personal level. And how it has helped me live my moments from this basis of this love that I place my faith in and that I hope "to be".

Posted by F.Newara at 02:52 PM | Permalink