Kicked Out
I just got off the phone with Mom. She said Potomac Group Homes will not readmit Dad. The hospital determined that he could not be controlled on medication and as such he is still "combative". Potomac Homes will not admit combative people.
So now we need to find a new living arrangement for Dad. By the way, Wyeth and Elan yesterday announced that their drug for Alzheimer's in Phase II testing had hit the primary endpoint in roughly 50% of the Alzheimer's patients studied who are non-carriers of the ApoE4 gene. But unfortunately, it's most likely false hope for a bunch of reasons I don't feel like getting into. The occurence made me consider an important question. Do you give it to my Dad? No, not unless it has a great chance of reversing the disease so that he gets out of this "home". The last thing I'd want for him is to prolong this situation that he certainly doesn't want to be in. Let's face it, the whole thing sucks. And quite frankly we'd all be at peace with his passing, as terrible as I feel for saying that. But why should I? This is miserable. This is pain and suffering for all of us. I have the memories of him I need. And more importantly, I think his soul is ready to rest at peace. I sure hope so. Because this situation just isn't getting any better. Sure it's a moment-to-moment thing and there's peace, joy and harmony in every moment. But there will be peace, joy and harmony in the moments when all we have are the memories. Don't get me wrong. In the meantime, I hope and pray that there is another solution. One that works for all of us involved. But increasingly, it feels as though it's resting on my shoulders. Maybe that's the war and peace I'm living. I want to take care of him. I want to take care of other people, maybe. Every phone call I make to Alzheimer's this or that, it's like there's no no-brainer. Where is the no-brainer? Can I develop one?
Stay tuned for the first Peakin Comic Strip entiteld: "Living and Loving Alzheimer's". The first comic is titled: "Dad Goes to the Psychiatric Ward"